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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. Sometimes she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?